Embracing the artful task of self-acceptance can be hard. For one reason or another, we find ways to (negatively) question, doubt, and undermine the strides we take as we uncover and accept our self-truths. Accepting yourself where you are and learning to be okay with that is something we can all master.
You can probably list too many things you find wrong with yourself or current circumstances. It’s easy to point out the trouble spots because they stick out the most compared to other things. Self-acceptance requires we embrace our strengths and weaknesses. These, after all, are parts of our whole.
We all experience weakness because we aren’t perfect. Perfection is a myth shrouded in over-extended schedules and coffee refills in the name of “doing all the things”. It keeps us from tapping into concrete issues and only promotes surface living until we burn out. It’s an unreal and highly damaging place to maintain existence in. Not a sustainable place for thriving because it has no room for our whole self.
We also spend a great deal of our lives being shaped and judged by others. From the time we’re born, we’re told and meant to believe too many opinions about who we are and what we should be. Told how to move through the world. We’re bound to need this reset because so much of that stays with us and the information we’re fed becomes a part of our everyday conversation, well into adulthood.
We hold on to the belief that the carrot is worth the chase and if we aren’t getting close to it we just aren’t good enough. And when we try to make changes or adjustments, imposter syndrome pays us a visit, right on cue.
This can look like:
Dressing for the dream you want but not giving yourself the title because it hasn’t been appointed to you by someone else. AKA: seeking validation
Reliving traumatic events that prevent you from moving forward with your present plans for a brighter future. You deserve good things.
Sabotaging your efforts to avoid focusing on your goals. Feeling guilty when you take time for something you want to focus on for yourself.
The practice of self-acceptance goes in hand with the phrase “start where you are“. And might I add- “with what you have”. I’m not the first to say it and I shouldn’t be the last. We are our biggest critics so we should also be our biggest fans. Easier said than done but we all are going to “start where we are with what we have”.
Nothing changes overnight, except for the weather. Things take time and with practice, you’ll see and feel the difference it makes.
Accepting yourself where you are can look like:
Acknowledging your inner critic and then setting a timer to ignore the shit out of them for 30-45 minutes while you focus on a project, hobby, or you time- currently my favorite thing to do!
Practicing self-compassion even when you are still learning something new or coming to terms with realizing you need to move on from something that isn’t working out.
Recognizing what isn’t your strength is also an opportunity to ask for help and seek community where you most need it.
Accepting acceptance! You do not have to know, be or do everything. And that doesn’t mean you’ve “settled”. Accepting yourself where you are ultimately gives you the opportunity to be more present in your life.
And now for the recap
Accepting yourself where you are means owning your strengths and weaknesses. They are parts of our whole self. Negative judgement keeps the cycle of separation and doubt going so start where you are with what you have. And if you need anything along the way, I’m here for you!
